Being asexual is like being born without a sense of smell but everywhere you go people are spraying perfume in your face and when you ask them to stop and tell them it’s irritating and you can’t smell the perfume anyway they get huffy and respond with “Don’t lie to me; I can clearly see you have a nose. Everybody has a nose therefore everybody smells things and besides maybe you just haven’t found the right scent yet.” and then you want to scream
Just called an anorexia help line and the girl answered and immediately hearing I was male said “you’re real funny douche” and hung up. If you dot think that’s messed up, u messed up.
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME
Ok but I’ve always wondered in the solo movies of the Avengers, what the hell everyone else is doing in the meantime
Like during Iron Man 3 are Clint, Bruce, Natasha and Steve just like eating popcorn? Thor 2 they’re just, naaaaaah, looks like Big Guy’s got it?
Tony’s watching this shit go down with SHIELD and he’s just
"hey pepper, look fast, STEVE’S ON TV!"
medusa, trying to turn you to stone, but you accidentally called her “melissa” when you first walked in and now you’re too embarrassed to look at her. “it’s alright” she keeps saying “i get it all the time” but you still won’t look. u don’t even remember the stone thing until later
Another friend is pregnant
There is something in the water. I am only drinking tea for a while then
I have some alarming news for you in regard to one of the main ingredients in tea.
shouldn’t it concern people that kids get more excited about not going to school than about christmas or their own birthdays
things about capitalism people take for granted:
if you don’t prove your worth (and not to society at large, but specifically to the people who already have the money), you’ll literally fucking die. this is considered totally normal and not at all evidence that the system is evil
a good response to the question “how old are you?” is something along the lines of “dunno i stopped counting after the first few centuries”
and it needs to be said seriously without smiling or humor or as casually as possible and followed by “so anyway” and a subject change as if it’s completely normal
"I stopped counting a few decades ago. no. what’s the one with the zeros? millennia that’s it. human time keeping is so confusing."